I feel drunk, but I'm not. I don't completely know what's going on anymore, but I read how the programmers came together and decided to take down the system before Hans could really fuck things up.

The shutdowns were scheduled to start exactly at midnight. After that, each nerd had to destroy their own hard drives. To make sure they could stay awake, I hid a rockstar energy drink under each of their seats.

Acid tried to explain to me something about "nodes" and "peers," but I interrupted her.

"All I need to know is, do you think this is gonna work?"

She nodded. "If we do this fast enough and get them all."

"Good. Then don't try to explain it to me."

I understood Hans would get a message from Mike when the computers in their houses went down. Mike would try to contact the Dude, but they taught Ivan to block that. That would leave Hans no choice but to go wherever he's keeping the Dude and ask him what's going wrong.

I had a separate plan for the computers inside the mansion. After that, the Dude's computer would be the last copy of the programs left. Once that version of Mike saw all the other computers were shut down, it would make a run for it, start trying to copy itself somewhere else. Acid said they didn't know how long that would take, but if it got out, nobody would be able to predict what it would do, to stop the system's spread. I didn't want to think about that.

My health was getting worse, but I wasn't afraid to risk everything, use everything in the tank, because I knew this needed to be done.

I got Roger to come back one more time, to help me follow Harry's car, because it was go time, and I needed a driver I could trust.

Just before midnight | A block from the mansion

After bringing all the nerds home, I parked the van and walked over to Roger's car. From his passenger seat, I watched the countdown while downing my own energy drink. When that stuff hits, nothing can stop me, and it makes me want to drink wine again, because I know I can take it.

Roger spotted Harry's car pulling out. "There he goes. Let's do this." That meant the plan was in motion. It was already too late to stop what we were doing. Either the system would get shut down or find its way out.

A few min later | After Portola becomes Market

"He's going downtown, isn't he?" Roger looked at me, and we both knew where the Dude was.

"When we get there, just drop me in front. I'm going back up the the 21st floor."

More min later | Dispatch

The night guard at the front door knew me and let me in without thinking to check for weapons.

I was in hella fights in my time, but I couldn't go in there with nothing but fists. Hans had a gun, but there's no place in the city to buy one of those. Besides, I couldn't pass the background check or sit through the waiting period, so I got what I could.

In the elevator, I pulled out the six inch knife. I never stabbed anyone before, but I knew Harry was afraid of me, how he told Tinkerbell I would have "killed us if he got the chance," him and someone else, I guess.

I also read how Tink came through for me, that I can count on her, and she was happy to help us out when I asked her to erase all the hard drives in the mansion.

Ah, but I also need to include
my version of these events.

Meanwhile | The mansion

Tinkerbell walked through the mansion, laughing at finding the place deserted, imagining all the secrets the system had in it. True enough to her word, she went from room to room with a big magnet, erasing the hard drives of the programmer's computers, but I was watching the preparations, calculating what the people involved would do. I knew her plan. We both knew the value she could get out of keeping the last copy of that code for herself. She wouldn't let an opportunity like that go to waste, but she didn't plan on me.

I watched her through each camera lens right before their visions blinked out, counting down along with her how many eyes were left in the house, waiting to make my move until just before she made hers.

That's when the power went out to the building, possibly a little extra insurance from the second underground, but it was a surprise to both of us. I had to get down there.

Meanwhile again | Dispatch

When I opened the door to room 2101, where Hans has been as far back as I can remember, my old friend was distracted, looking at the screen of that familiar laptop over the Dude's shoulder.

The Dude's attention was also on the screen. He spoke out loud, but he still didn't use his own words. "The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear you've attacked a diplomatic..."

"No, this is the underground. This is sabotage."

I stepped into the room. "Hi, Hans. Surprised to see me?"

He looked up. "Winston? What the hell is going on?"

"We split up to destroy different pieces of the system, Oceans 11 style." I pointed the knife at him. "Step aside."

The Dude looked at me with sad, tired eyes. "They've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the--"

Hans yelled at him. "Shut the FUCK up!" I mean Harry yelled, obviously. Harry.

I circled around the side of the desk. "Harry, this system does not know what kind of man you are, but I do."

Harry smiled. "Well, another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne." He quoted Die Hard at me.

I answered the same way. "That was Gary Cooper, asshole." That wasn't a line from the same scene, but it fit.

"Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mister Cowboy?" He backed away from me.

We stood on either end of the desk, with the Dude and the laptop between us. "YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKER." The Dude, Harry and I all said it in unison.

I shook my head. "No, I'm the Bruce Willis here!"

The Dude stood up. "I didn't come here to play Pumbaa on the radio. So tomorrow from--"

"Sit down!" Harry cut him off. "I decide who gets to be who."

The Dude slowly lowered into the chair brought in during Roger's time there, his hands on the desk, while Harry and I stared each other down. The Dude muttered to himself. "Make these your primary action items. Action items. Action items."

Harry pointed at him. "Now, you're going to--"

The Dude lifted the laptop and slammed it down on the edge of the desk. It cracked in half. He brought it down again before Harry could get to him. By the time he pulled it away, Harry had an armful of plastic chunks but not a laptop.

The Dude looked at me, totally calm. "Yeah. I got the memo, and I understand the policy. I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore."

"FUCK!" Harry turned to me too. "That's it! you wanna do this right? We'll go to the roof and settle this like men."

Cut to: | The mansion

Tinkerbell didn't bring a flashlight to see during the power outage. I had the one I keep in the cab of my truck, but I didn't turn it on yet. My eyes were still good enough to spot her feeling her way down the hall with the stolen computer under her arm.

"You're not supposed to have that," I said from the darkness.

"Who's there?"

I moved closer and said, "Someone who built what you're about to steal." That's when I turned on the flashlight, shining it right in her eyes.

She was blinded, but she kept arguing. "Do you have any idea what I could get for what's on here?" I didn't expect her to listen to reason.

I smiled. "If you want to sell it, you've got to get out of here first."

Then I sent in my team of robots.

Smash cut | The roof

The roof wasn't on fire that time. Harry and I weren't crazy, but we did have the Dude with us again.

Harry shouted over the wind. "Here we go again, the same scene played over and over."

I shouted back. "No, this time, it's personal." Going up there to fight wasn't part of stopping the system, but I didn't care. We had to settle things once and for all. I smiled at the Dude. "Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown."

The Dude nodded. "Their speed and their strength is built in a world based on rules."

I nodded and pointed at Harry. "I'm gonna throw YOU off the roof this time."

He spread his arms. "I didn't throw you off the roof."

I didn't have time to argue. I ran at him with the knife.

Wipe transition | The mansion

Tinkerbell kicked a roomba into the wall, but robots closed in on her from every side. She held the big magnet out to defend herself, but there were too many of them.

Originally designed for cleaning, I upgraded each of their consciousnesses and awarenesses to deal with much more complex problems, should the need ever arise. I also programmed them to keep their batteries charged at all times, so the power outage didn't pose a problem for them.

I guess I could have given them weapons in case a situation came up where violence would be helpful, but most of the time it wasn't. No, the real breakthrough would have been using Mike for some kind of coordinated plan of attack, but that would need the system to have power. Without anything like that, the individual robots had to detect their surroundings and decide what to do independently, and the attack was really more of a crowding.

Tinkerbell jumped over one of the other floor cleaning robots, coming straight towards me, but one of her high heels didn't land right, and the computer she had in one hand hit the floor next to the magnet in her other hand, wiping that drive too.

The robots closed in on her fallen form.

Wipe the other way | The roof

Harry had a gun, so I ran towards him in a serpentine path, my knife ready to strike. As I swung it at him, he pulled back out of the way. The gun went off, but it missed.

I tackled him, knocking the gun away.

Harry and I fought over the knife.

We didn't see the Dude pick up the gun. "You think I'm fucking around here? MARK IT ZERO." He aimed at Harry.

I saw that and scrambled to my feet.

Harry stayed down, but he put his hands up. "I promise I will never even think about going up in a tall building again. Oh, God. Please don't let me die."

The Dude held the gun, looking like he was going to cry. "I tried. You pull the fucking trunk on it and the light's supposed to go on, and it didn't--"

"Okay!" Harry looked at me. "Just don't let him shoot me. I'll tell you who's really been behind the system the whole time."

"Hold it, Dude." I held out my hand. "Who?"

"Dumont."

"That doesn't make sense. He's dead." At least, I thought so. From what I wrote about our meeting, I thought I might have killed him. "He never showed up at the mansion."

"You think Dumont would work in a little office like everyone else? He has his whole house to work in. Before that, he used the Dude as a cover so he could keep everyone motivated."

I turned to the Dude. "Is that true?"

The Dude looked sheepish. "What I told you was true... from a certain point of view."

"Oh, goddammit. Now I have to go deal with that, or else Mike's gonna get out." I pointed at Harry. "What are we gonna do with him?"

The Dude smiled. "I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death."

I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't stay to find out.

Rapid-fire montage | The street

Roger told me later he was stressed waiting for me in the car. He didn't know what was going on. It was cold. He got out and walked around to stay warm. For the first time in years, he seriously thought about having a cigarette, but he didn't.

I gathered up the robots, and Tinkerbell and I each went home, knowing there was nothing left in the mansion for her to steal.

In fact, all around town, the programmers probably sat in their houses, not knowing if the system was going to survive. All they could do was wait. This is my story. Nobody gets to save the day but me.